i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
