never play flip cup with pint glasses
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize