Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
