There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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