their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
