Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
