He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
