Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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