ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
