I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
