He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
