Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The beer is more important than you right now.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
