Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize