i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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