i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
