dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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