i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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