the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
