porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
