definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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