In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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