is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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