he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
