Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
