Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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