It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
