he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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