I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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