what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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