...so i touched it.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
