I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
