Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
