Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize