guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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