i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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