Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
