I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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