My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
