My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
