OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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