giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The uberlube is also flammable
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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