scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
