Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
