so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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