he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
