i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
