Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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