exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
