that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
