Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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