erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
