They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
