His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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