guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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