the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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