I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
