the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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