i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
