I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
