I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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