I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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