I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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