wanna go halves on a baby?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
