Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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