maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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