I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
