help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Less talking, more tequila
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
