i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
