But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So much rum. So many feels.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
