did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
