marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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